{"title":"Smolotov","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"smolotov-stable-genius","title":"\"Stable Genius\" SH*T Bags, 4 Rolls","description":"\u003ch4\u003e60-Count, Leak Proof, and Ultra Durable\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThese premium pet waste bags are thick, leak-proof, and large enough for any breed. A must-have for responsible dog owners, these most presidential bags take the worst part of pet ownership and make it great again! Every Karen and Ken in your neighborhood will know you've moved on from culture war politics to assail the broligarchy. Congratulations, comrade!  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eResponsible Sourcing: Made at a BSCI-certified facility from PBAT + PLA + Cornstarch, these pet waste bags are top quality, soft to the touch, and environmentally responsible.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtra Thick \u0026amp; Leak Proof: Durable design ensures no mess and no leaks—perfect for even the toughest clean-ups. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGenerous Size: At 9″x13″, these bags are large enough to cover your hand for sanitary cleanup.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReliable \u0026amp; Practical: Designed for responsible dog owners who value quality and lowbrow art masquerading as consumer staple good.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMany Uses, Much Solidarity: Ideal for kitchen compost bins, messy diapers, walks in the park or while traveling, fitting easily into your daily routine and lifestyle. Refill your dispenser or gift them to friends. White elephant gifts have never been this cool!\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Smolotov","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51991658496246,"sku":"TIN-SMLTV-STBLGEN","price":9.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0308\/5267\/7769\/files\/Bag_Box_4-Rolls_Stable_Genius_Web.jpg?v=1792800398"},{"product_id":"smolotov-the-deuce","title":"\"The Deuce\" SH*T Bags, 4 Rolls","description":"\u003ch4\u003eThe Deuce (aka #2, Maybelline Menace) 60-Count, Leak Proof, and Ultra Durable\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThese premium pet waste bags are thick, leak-proof, and large enough for any breed, but not so large as to shroud you from his duplicitous nature. Once full, the familiar face of a lackey for whom nobody voted, finally finds his purpose. Resistance has never smelled so righteous. Hide your couches. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eResponsible Sourcing: Made at a BSCI-certified facility from PBAT + PLA + Cornstarch, these pet waste bags are top quality, soft to the touch, and environmentally responsible.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExtra Thick \u0026amp; Leak Proof: Durable design ensures no mess and no leaks—perfect for even the toughest clean-ups. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGenerous Size: At 9″x13″, these bags are large enough to cover your hand for sanitary cleanup.\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReliable \u0026amp; Practical: Designed for “childless cat ladies,” (his words, not ours) who value quality containment and lowbrow art masquerading as consumer product, these bags are printed on the outside for kitty litter cleanup. \u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMany Uses, Much Solidarity: Ideal for kitchen compost bins, messy diapers, walks in the park or while traveling, fitting easily into your daily routine and lifestyle. Refill your dispenser or gift them to friends. White elephant gifts have never been this cool\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Smolotov","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51991686512886,"sku":"TIN-SMLTV-THEDEUCE","price":9.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0308\/5267\/7769\/files\/2_Bag_Box_4-Rolls_2400pxTheDeuce.jpg?v=1792800588"},{"product_id":"smolotov-kennedizine","title":"\"Kennedizine\" SH*T Bags, 4 Rolls","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e60 plant-based, leak-proof bags. Timed perfectly with Cyclospora Summer and the worst measles outbreak in 35 years. 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